Tuesday, October 24th, 1995
|
|
7:25 pm - Another relationship ended by me.
|
::I fall forward onto my large plush bed with journal and quill in hand. I crack open my journal and begin to write at a feverish pace::
I couldn't find a right fit with Chasity.. I let her go.. It's the best thing to do at this time.. .. She has many private issues to work through right now. And.. .. I honestly thought long and hard about it and.. .. She just wasn't the person for me.. I won't list the negatives about her, bad karma. I couldn't find her around school so I left a note in her journal about it.. I hope she can forgive me, someday.
The same day I switched into my own private dorm with the blessing of Dumbledore, of course. A whole room to myself.. finally! I laid out a few things but I keep moving things around, I'm so excited.
I haven't seen Arwen or Dwyn around lately.. Actually I'm quite thankful.. We aren't close so.. .. No big lose really.
Well that's it for me I suppose....
::I closed my journal and placed it out in the open on my oak night standl no fear of someone getting in and reading it::
current mood:  excited
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, October 17th, 1995
|
|
2:05 am - Can't sleep..
|
|
I can't sleep tonight.. .. I kept tossing an turning .. .. Too many things on my mind...
I slipped carefully onto Chasity's bed and rested against the headboard, next to her. Her even and peaceful breathes is making me feel at ease.. ..
::I paused a moment to gaze at her peaceful form. She was lying on her side, her back to me. I smiled softly, she looked like an angel::
Jager and I crossed paths last night.. Not much was said.. .. He has been keeping busy, that's all I know. His face will never truly heal from that werewolf attack in Diagon Alley back in September.. .. My wound from the nail digging in deep at the leaky cauldron has healed but left an ugly scar.. Hmm....
Chasity makes me smile so much these days.. She brightens my otherwise gloomy days..
Ah another thought.. A boy showed up to Hogwarts recently.. Claims his name is Dwyn Valkyrie.. and further claims he is my brother.. Well.. I know they aren't claims anymore but genuine facts. Grandma and Grandpa Lark came to Hogsmeade to speak with me last trip. Gran'mama spoke solemly about the boy and confirmed his claims. The details they gave me are sketchy but Dwyn was given to trusted friends to be brought up differently..
::I stop writing when Chasity rolled over into me and threw an arm lazily across my lap in deep sleep. I smiled softly and closed my book so I could ease into Chasity's slumber embrace in an attempt to fall asleep::
current mood:  loved
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, October 10th, 1995
|
|
12:40 pm - Sometime has passed..
|
::As I gaze around the from gate courtyard; I can't help but frown.. Perhaps it was the rain assaulting the grounds or the students being so happy to be out in it..::
It's been sometime since I've written in my journal.. .. Jager began dating Zelena after flirting with me.. So I stepped down.. I grew attached to Cymyn Coldfire.. .. Flirted [to say the least] with him.. Then he moves onto my "friends" Erika and Hae.. .. They are always huddled together.. Apparently they all love each other.. .. I'm very hurt.. and they will pay for my anger and sadness that they have caused me...
I made several new friends.. Chasity Davises a very sweet fellow Hufflepuf .. I can't remember how we met.. how strange.. But she obviously seems interested in me.. So last night I kissed her.. quickly then left.. She followed me around thereafter.. I find it amusing no.. sweet that someone is acting chasing me around and wants to be with me.. .. It's refreshing.. Men complicate life anyways.. Why do they exist? other than to torment us women?
I'm a Prefect once again.. I just wish there was space for Chas to be a Prefect too but Hufflepuff is full.. Oh well.. I'll just have to sneak her into the Prefects bath for a little swimming lesson..
::At the thought of me teaching Chasity a lesson for no apparent reason; a small smile tugged at my lips. I closed my journal quietly and carefully tucked it away from prying eyes::
current mood:  cheerful
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Sunday, September 24th, 1995
|
|
2:27 pm
|
|
::I glance over my friends talking amongst themselves, laughing and carrying on in the Entrance Hall.. With a moment to spare I decide to update my journal::
I am no longer a Prefect as of last week. But I left on my own terms.. .. It involved a pie, Snape and a few rude comments. But that aside.. .. Gabrial hates me because I didn't want to date him.. Jager is kinda talking to me... But he's talking everything with legs. It seems he's settling down with Zelena... .... But Cymyn Coldfire seems to have grown accustomed to speaking to me more.. .. I actually enjoy his company. I made a "meeting" with him to hear about his family later on.. .. He didn't want to speak about it in public...
The Fall Ball is the first week of October.. .. I have no date thus far.. Yet again. But I fully intend to go regardless of a date on my arm.
People have begun to flock to me and striking up random conversations with me.. Again I very much enjoy the company... A certain group of slytherin's have accepted me and I talk to them most of the time.. ..
current mood:  surprised
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Friday, September 15th, 1995
|
|
1:09 pm - Minus a lover but gained knowledge.
|
::I slowly open my journal in the Entrance hall to a fresh page and being to write a short entry::
Jager has been a bit strange since we started to date.. I know it has only been a few days but still... Not much flirting anymore.. Maybe this is a sign that we were never meant to be.. I can only think about this for some reason... I haven't been able to find Jager anywhere about the school to speak with him. But I think.. .. I am going to break up with him.. No love loss really. I think he cares for someone else...
I do not wish to be his trophy or someone to make someone jealous of.. I shall nip this is the ass before it gets too far.
::Later that afternoon I returned to the library with my journal in tow::
I broke if off with Jager this afternoon.. Strangely he does not hate me and my choice. I told him that I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt about Drael.
But on a positive note.. Mother has finally replied to my letter. It seems grandmother is a full-fledged Veela. But her marrying a muggle, made mother 3/4's veela. And I am 1/2 Veela. We do not think Arwen will show any signs of Veela as she is 1/4 but time will tell. Mother further added that the Veela hair in my wand belonged to my great grandmother Irene.
She did not state the reason for her tardy letter but hoped that I would understand....
current mood:  grateful
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, September 12th, 1995
|
|
10:28 pm - What have I done?
|
::As I sit quietly on my bed, staring out the small window; a wolf howls far in the distance::
I said I was going to stay away from Jager for Drael's sake but.. ... Now I'm.. beyond flirting with him.. Am I dating him now? He never relly answered anybodies questions but.. I think so..
Drael is going to hate me but... I like Jager so much. I have so much fun with him. I... forget time when I am with him. I mean.. We just spent four hours just talking in the Entrance Hall..
How did this happen?
I went to have a quick dip in the Prefects Bath and Jager was there... I couldn't help but sneak up behind him and dunking his head under the hot water.. He pulled me in.. and .. the rest is history. I quite enjoyed myself too.
Now I am faced with having Drael see me all cozied up with Jager one day soon, perhaps tomorrow. I am scared for that moment.
But that aside.. I really really truly do like Jager. I just hope he doesn't break my heart when and if that happens; too badly.
I caught myself daydreaming during Herbology.. When Professor Sprout said, "class dismissed" I had sketched several doodles of Jager into the pages of my Herbology book...
Have I turned into a love sick puppy? Merlin I hope not..
Mother STILL has yet to reply to my letter... Her attitude toward this heritage business is wearing thin by the day.
My simple question to Jager is.. "Will you still love, care and like me in the morning?"
-On cloud nine but hating herself, some how-
P.S. I deserve to be happy don't I? Even if it is just for one day. . .
Drael I am so sorry, please forgive me.
We shouldn't change for the one's we love.. They should be accepting of the people we already are and us for that. If not then they aren't the one for you. . .
current mood:  giddy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Monday, September 11th, 1995
|
|
3:41 pm
|
::During Charms I switched my parchment for my journal and began writing feverishly::
Arwen has become quite the social butterfly, who knew. She seems to be enjoying herself more this year. I wish her this best in her third year of studies here at Hogwarts.
Drael was acting very coldly toward me this evening. . . She eventually confessed that whilst I was in lockdown she was attacked and hospitalized. Unfortunately I could not be at her side. Though I would have been there, breaking the rules to be by her side.. She confessed to stealing my journal [as well as many others] and reading it. She was upset because I spoke of her and Jager's relationship as a crush. But indeed I knew it was more but I did not wish to further add to anyone's upset by being nosy.
I dare say that it would be wise for me to lose my crush on Jager and find someone more suitable. . . Though I find it hard as he is like a sherbet lemon.. Once you had a taste, you can never forget it. I've had my eyes on several boys but alas nothing thus far, sadly. I try to convince myself that life would be better without a partner of any sort.. But it is a lie, that my heart knows to well in not believing.
I do thinking highly of Drael and do not mean her actions or words any harm. She is a very complex young woman and.. Sadly I feel the need to distance myself from Jager, for her sake. Drael and I may not have a long and rough friendship but I do think on some level we are friends. And I would not want to anger or lose her over anything, especially a silly BOY.
Mother still has not responded to my letter. I inquired in regards to my heritage. Father sent me a letter saying mother is fussing and fretting over telling me about my heritage. Why, I do not know, nor does Arwen.
I shall make attempts to stay away from Jager.
Mezii seems to have given me a bit of a cold shoulder. Since lockdown ended... She doesn't seem as.. warm toward me as she was before the locked... .. I do not know what is wrong.
::I catch Professor Flitwick looking my way and quickly and secretly toss my journal into my bag::
current mood:  confused
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
3:40 pm
|
::I smile broadly whilst looking about the Great Hall which I've missed all week long. I flip to a crisp, clean, untouched page in my journal::
The madness if finally over. I won the final challenge [prop find and answering questions] and took Layla into the final two. She won the 2,000 points but I also got 1,000 points. I was just glad it was all over and done with. The rave was a bore so I left.
Mezii vanished when I arrived to the rave so I didn't have much time to talk to her. Perhaps I'll catch her today.
I overheard the "trio" talking about forming a group called, "Dumbledore's Army". I was quick to trap Weasley and get my name on the list. Should be interesting.
Much has happened since I was in lockdown. Since today is a Diagon Alley trip.. .. .. I should try to pry out some information from other students.
::I hear a loud chime, notifying all students that the train trip to London was leaving. I hastily throw my journal and quill into my bag and run to the bridge where everyone is waiting::
current mood:  cranky
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Thursday, September 7th, 1995
|
|
3:39 pm
|
::After locking myself in the bathroom for some privacy, I open my journal and pre-inked quill::
Lockdown has been very very boring. That is until Ryan was kicked out and Criss bailed [and was replaced by Zelena]. We've been taking photo's and using muggle sharpies to write funny captions.
I don't really miss anyone much. Mezii accused me of trying to steal her Head Girl title just before I went into lockdown. So much drama that I'm not going to even touch it.
The house is full of girls. Obviously there has been a few fights. That were captured of video. How embarrassing. Zelena, Elizabeth and myself were involved in a three-way food fight over what house was going to win the competition. Is was so silly.. But I did claw up Zelena's face before everything was finished.
Our first competition was solving three riddles.. .. We were not told that GRAMMAR was a factor or full names. But alas I wasn't up for eviction.
This morning we were told to make an animal print outfit. I decided to go with a pink fox. It seems very much bizzare but what can you do.
::someone begins to pound rapidly on the bathroom door::
And before Criss bailed on us I cleaned the inside of the toilet with his toothbrush.. . after he used the toilet. A little childish but that's what he gets for calling us whores!
Apparently there's a new fight brewing.. .. Someone ate someone else's cherrio's.. And Zelena burned mine and Elizabeth's bra's.
current mood:  horny
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Monday, September 4th, 1995
|
|
3:38 pm - Life is Strange. . .
|
::slowly I reached into my Hufflepuff coloured napsac and removed my journal, quill and bottle of red ink. I slowly prep the quill whilst glancing about the shore line. The lake was the only semi-quiet place in all of Hogwarts::
I finally feel well enough to partake in daily activities now. I was sick since Thursday morning. Madame Pomfrey said my illness was brought on by stress. No doubt from my worrying about love, friendship and family matters. She ordered me to take it easy. I find it hard to do since I was selected to participate in this "Hogwarts Lockdown" thing.. being locked in a part of Hogwarts with a few other students.. Fighting for house points... Makes dealing with stress more difficult.
Some students were telling me that Mezii was back.. Though I have not seen her. I miss her very much. I always missed chatting with Jager. And since I will be stuck with only the other participating students for the next few days. ... I wish I could find him before I am disallowed from speaking to other students and leaving the lockdown area..
Many students mistake me for a Veela.. Though I laugh and shrug it off. I always privately think to myself and ponder the very same question.. My parents have not ever spoken about any other relatives. Further to add they have yet to reply to my inquiry letter about the Veela-ness. Of which I had sent three weeks ago, tomorrow.
I hope to see my friends before six o'clock tonight when I must enter the lockdown area. I miss them deeply. Who knows.. .. Maybe this lockdown business will be alot of fun. It's a shame Mezii and Jager aren't apart of it.
::I slam my journal shut quickly when a group of Slytherin's walk by and start stripping off their clothes. They laugh and shove each other into the lake. I on the other hand quickly gather my things and head for the castle, not wanting to get wet::
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Saturday, September 2nd, 1995
|
|
3:36 pm
|
::After nestling into a cozy chair I created out of those ugly hard stiff ones in the library. I cracked open my journal and dipped my black and yellow quill into the red ink bottle. I was quick to put ink to paper and get it over with::
I truly understand what that Slytherin Prefect, Drael, is feeling when she sees her crush, whom turned her down . . . Flirting and carrying on with other girls. Love makes you jealous, makes you cry..makes you hate yourself for believing the lie . . . One thing that one cannot deny is that if one ...little or big thing happens.. You become one depressed and angry person.
::I paused to wipe tears off my cheeks then continued::
I can't believe I of all people would have allowed myself to be lured in by the call of such a man.. nay "love". I should just let things run its course. It's obvious the boy is either a player or is interested in being a "pimp".. Though I think both are one in the same to be honest...
Mezii has family business to take care of. So I am without my dear friend and laughing partner for about a week. I miss her already. . I just hope George doesn't try anything whilst she is away.
Ernie MacMillan finally returned last night from his family business. He was gone for a few days. His actions last night when Jager was attempting to either flirt or make conversation with me, I'd assume old Ern had a crush on me or something...
Dispite how love makes me act and feel . . . I would still give everything I had in the world to have it . . . Even if it was just for one day.
On the upside to yesterday.. I was having so much fun and the most interesting conversations with people. Yet again Belinda Spatz crucio'd Layla Armstrong and Umbridge did flip all too discourage her.
Cheers.
::I closed the journal and tucked it back into my bag. I hesitated at the large window, once again like yesterday, watching the rain comming forth and attcking the glass. I hurried to the Entrance Hall to put on a fake smile and strike up conversations::
current mood:  anxious
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Friday, September 1st, 1995
|
|
3:29 pm - Love makes your heart believe a Lie
|
::I finally find a quiet place in all of Hogwarts to sit and ponder what to write first in my dark leather bound journal. I open the hard cover front and flip to the first blank page. I withdraw my quill and dip it into the small bottle of red ink at my side. I let a single droplet of ink fall onto the page before pressing the quill tip to the page::
If someone should ever find this journal lying about and curiosity gets the best of them... I shall put down my vitals to quench your thirst. . .
My name is Vixen Marisol Valkyrie. I was born July 27, 1978. My Grandparents [mum's parents] were both born and raised in Bulgarian but immigrated to England in the early 1900's. My father [Rafé] is a muggle and my mother [Sheena] is a witch. Mother was in Hufflepuff house, born in London [father was also born in Toronto, Canada]. I am a seventh year Hufflepuff Prefect. I have a sister, Arwen Valkyrie that attends Hogwarts; she is in her third year.
That should be all. . . And my wand was made in Bulgaria, mahogany, 11 1/2 in, veela hair. I don't know where the veela hair came from though.
::I paused for a minute when I heard the library door open. A bushy haired girl slinked her way inside and promptly shut the door and tettered over to an empty table near one of the many windows::
I'm not sure if I've made any friends thus far this year.. I prefer to keep to myself. Relationships in all forms tend to aggitate me. I enjoy speaking to all students. This year it seems the place to "chill out" is the Entrance Hall. I'm friends with the Head Girl, Mezii. . . She doesn't annoy me but I feel angry every time I see her happy with George Weasley.. Why? I can gather a decent guess. I'm envious every her happiness..even if it doesn't last. No-one has ever gushed over me or asked me out. Maybe I am just so cold nobody cares. I try to keep my actions and attitude in check when a certain male Slytherin Prefect is about. It's obvious he's still in love with his former love. I'll just stay in the corner of the hall, classroom, dueling club and just worry about my studies. Love complicates things... I doubt I'll ever think otherwise. Love turns me into a love sick, angry, depressed, and upsetting nitwit.
I find joy in talking to random students about the most obscure and random things, and I enjoy it very much.. But I must write that I made a terrible fool out of myself during the first Dueling Club meeting a few days ago. I dueled twice and both times I jumped the gun and mucked up my spells.. I should never have thought that I could actually improve my spells and dueling skills.
Students in every year are pairing off like the world is about to end.. ... How can people STAND love, anyways?
Cheers.
::Frowning I closed my journal and placed it onto my lap. I quickly lost myself, staring out the library window at the thunderstorm outside::
current mood:  gloomy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
vixenvalkyrie's journal